I don’t have any mobile phone network in or around my farm, but I can get some spotty reception if I pace around the woods for a good while. So now when I want to send or receive a text, and it’s too cold or dark to go outside and walk aimlessly for half an hour, I attach my phone to Pandolf’s collar and send him out in the forest. Usually when he comes home after taking my phone for a walk the text is successfully sent. He’s like those rescue mountain dogs with a little barrel of whiskey round their necks, but the millennial version.